The Buddha Wife Great Yasodhara

Seven (Wisdom Quarterly)

The great Yasodhara, his friend and cousin, was Siddhartha's wife of 13 years.

They married at 16, which was the caste custom among nobles in Kapilavastu [ancient India, modern Iran-Afghanistan-Pakistan], and lived in luxury.

Siddhartha had dancing girls and female musicians and guards attending to his every whim. But ensconced in a saccharine life of sensual pleasures by his father, who was keeping him distracted from the real nature of life, when Siddhartha rejected home life at 29, he radically rejected it.

He was catapulted on a Quest to find an end to suffering for his wife, child, family, friends, and the entire world (life not being limited to this tiny planet).

So far we know, Yasodhara was not consulted. Why would Siddhartha not consult his friend, spouse, lover, partner, cousin, and fellow parent before setting off to fulfill his life's mission?

The obvious reason is that NOTHING was going to distract or detract him from his Quest. Tellingly, his last act in the palace was not of someone evading responsibility. His last act according to ancient texts was to sneak in and stare at his wife and newborn, who were sleeping soundly.

We hastily assume that Siddhartha coldly disappeared without telling anyone anything as if he were never heard from again. This is completely mistaken. It is quite possible that he did discuss his plans with Yasodhara before leaving or that he sent word that why he left and what he was doing. We know something of this nature was afoot because news of how Siddhartha's Quest was going periodically reached the palace.

Yasodhara was not left alone to live and raise their child. She had servants, friends, family, riches, entertainments, companions, and parents very interested in how Rahula -- now the heir to the kingdom -- was brought up.

This animated clip recounts that as Yasodhara heard of the practices her husband undertook, she undertook them too. We cannot understand just how close they were. But legend (the embroidered stories in the BUDDHAVAMSA and elsewhere) has it that she had been married to and a faithful companion of the Bodhisat (the-Buddha-to-be) many times over many previous lives.

We may further not be able to understand it as we judge from our own culture and its values, but in India one's spirituality trumps all other commitments and concerns. Far from encouraging selfishness, as critical Mahayana Buddhists were once in the habit of claiming, this position benefits oneself, others, and both (i.e., the community).

For anyone who ever thinks to misspeak and say, "The Buddha abandoned his wife!" note that as soon as Siddhartha accomplished his Quest -- which was not simply to wake up but to establish an Order that would perpetuate the liberating-truth of the path to enlightenment we can all follow without being dependent on him -- he returned to save his former wife Yasodhara.

The monastic cave complex and world's largest Buddha statue in Bamiyan, Afghanistan, formerly Gandhara, India

Not her alone. Siddhartha, now the Buddha, came back to save their son Rahula, his father Suddhodana, his stepmother Prajapati (who became the first Buddhist nun), his biological mother Maya (Prajapati's sister, who had by then been reborn in a space world called "Tavatimsa"), as well as his cousin ANANDA, his half-brother Nanda, and his half-sister Sundari Nanda -- all of whom in time became fully enlightened and liberated from all suffering.

NEW ARCHAEOLOGICAL EVIDENCE

Many of his fellow Shakyans, his extended-family or clan, and others in Kapilavastu also benefited greatly such that, even for those who stayed behind living in the world, the Buddha came to be known as the much honored "Shakya-muni", "Sage of Shakyas." Having grown up in the vicinity of modern Bamiyan, Afghanistan -- the location of the real Kapilavastu -- the world's largest Buddha statue was erected there, later to be destroyed by the Taliban and soon to be rebuilt by the Germans and Afghans. Moreover, massive monastic-temple complexes, most notably MES AYNAK (which Chinese business interests now vow to destroy even before it is fully documented or excavated), were set up for many Shakyans and others on the frontier who then wished to become ardent practitioners thanks to their native son, who became the most famous teacher India ever produced.

Source: religion-events.blogspot.com