Tsunami Wake Up Call

What do we do when all we feel is anger, resentment, sadness or just that never ending feeling of bleh!? In the past I would say that it was depression coming on, but presently I know when that is on it's way and I know how to derail it for the most part. As of late, I have been feeling all these things and in the wake of this, I have been trying to figure out it's root cause...the source of why I feel this way.

I've been angry with myself, my job, my surroundings, everything. The other day I felt it lift a little upon a realization I had discovered but to be honest, the light dimmed quickly and that elation was short lived. What do we do when we feel like this and it does not seem to want to end. Well, for me, it's time to go back to basics.

For one, I have once again began taking notice all that I am grateful for (I really want this to become a tried and true habit), even if it is just the basics which if you think about it, are the most important. Without our basic needs where would we be? When I look around, I do have quite a bit to be very grateful for: My husband, my children, my cats, my dog, food, water, shelter. I'm lucky to have a car to get me where I need to go. I'm lucky to have a job in this current state of being. Which by the way seems to be my one bone of contention above all else. When I think of this mindfully, I am grateful since I know where I have come from and where I've been, so as of the present, I am VERY rich beyond measure. So where else do we go?

In my recent studies about Reiki I have been reciting some of it's principles:

Today I will give thanks for my many blessings.Just for today, I will not worry.Just for today I will not be angry.Just for today I will do my work honestly.Today I will be kind to my neighbor and to every living thing.

This is what I have been reciting all day. I will admit, there were times I felt fake saying this as it didn't penetrate or sink in and there were other times when I truly felt those words. What I also have done today is take out my 2 decks of cards that I haven't used in a while. My Louise Hay Power Thought Cards and the Ester and Jerry Hicks Ask and It Is Given Cards. I chose one from each deck to use for today.

My Power Thought Card of the Day:

"I Deserve The Best and I Accept The Best Now-I am mentally and emotionally equipped to enjoy a prosperous and loving life. It is my birthright to deserve all good. I claim my good.

My Ask and It Is Given Card:

All-That-Is...Is Benefiting from My Existence-No matter what has caused your unique point of view to come about-it has come about. You do exist; your are thinking; you are perceiving; you are asking-and you are being answered. And All-That-Is is benefiting from your existence and from your point of view.

Well, I found both cards to be interesting. I'm unsure how anyone or anything can benefit from my current state of mind, since it is not at all very positive, but I am thinking, I am asking questions and I am receiving exactly what I am giving out. Which by the way, is more of the same since lately I have been focusing on too much of what I don't have, and what I don't want, when instead it would benefit ME to focus on what I already have and very thankful for what I do have especially knowing where I came from.

Now, I also feel that in these times, it is most important to allow yourself to feel all you are feeling as long as we do not wallow in it like I have been doing, but I think there are reasons why these thoughts will not exit. I need to confront whatever is lying at the core and then to just let go.

The mind needs to be silenced and the need for self-care is paramount. Silence, Love, and Patience is what I have found to slowly be working. The need to shut myself off for a little while to collect myself, hear my own voice and to just "BE" is what my Soul is crying for me to do.

I carried my Rose Quartz Pendulum in my pocket today with the intention of living from a more heart-centered existence. My Heart Center IS very large but I have noticed that it is not so large and open for ME, the one person who needs my heart the most. So, I will be heeding my heart's call and take better care of MY needs.

Right before I wrote this post, I decided to take out my Earth Magic Oracle Cards by Steven Farmer. I was shocked at what card came up. The TSUNAMI-Wake-Up Call card. The second I laid eyes on this card I got a shiver that ran down my spine. For a few seconds I looked at the card and then decided to look up its meaning. It basically said that I am in for a HUGE wake-up call either from a traumatic event or a significant loss. "...a tsunami occurs when a large volume of water is suddenly and rapidly displaced...triggered by an undersea disturbance..."- Dr. Steven Farmer Earth Magic Oracle Cards.

"This message reminds me of the lessons of the Root Chakra, to follow your instincts. This week it is time to examine if we are ignoring, avoiding, or denying something or someone in our lives. Somewhere in your gut my words are penetrating to a place that is stirring something in you, something that says, move, and this is our deep inherit instinct. This wake-up call does not have to be a scary thing, in fact it can become worse by avoiding the issue, because you are denying yourself relief from this fear; and fear is limiting. Respond to your wake-up call and find your relief."-My Reiki Life

Personally, my gut instincts are telling me that Tsunami Wake-Up Call is more about the Reinvention of me. My recent dreamboard for this past Full Moon has a few words that keep calling my attention: Seek-I am seeking (always seeking) to better my life and myself through continuing education. Choice-Being more mindful of the choices I make to ensure my future. I also pasted to my dreamboard something that caught my eye and that is "Passion Project"-I'm very curious as to why I put that there and am trying to figure this out.Then I go back to needing silence. What does come to mind is finally sitting down to create my Raw Desire Journal that I learned from Jamie Ridler a long time ago.

So, what does this all mean? It means that there is a lot going on in the background here but in order for me to weed through all of these images, words, messages, and thoughts, it's time to go inward and to be Silent! Meditation, Journaling, Resting and Being Ever So Grateful Everyday for what I have NOW, right in front of me, in this very moment in time. It's all I have right now so why worry about the future, even 10 minutes into the future? All We Have Is Right Now! So, Just For Today.....