Celebrating Christian Holidays

I've gotten a lot of great responses to my last post "Are You Pagan? Really?" and the most recent comment had many questions in it so I am going to answer them in this post.

Here is the comment:

I can understand where you are coming from and agree to a point, but I don't think you need be miffed about it. Pretend for a minute like I'm not in the closet. I still tell my family Happy Easter and Merry Christmas. I give them Christmas gifts. I also wish my Jewish bestfriend a happy Hanukkah and buy her a Hanukkah present. I am not now nor ever have been Jewish, but someone I care about is and I will show my respect and love for her by acknowledging special days in her faith. She is not pagan, but will buy me a Yule present.

I still celebrate Easter with my family because it's FUN. Every year the whole family (2 grandparents, 17 parents, 20 grandkids, and 1 great-grandkid) get together and we have a massive blow-out, enter at your own risk confetti egg/silly string fight. It won't happen on Ostara b/c my family is not Pagan. They are Catholic. Does that give me the right to make them change the date? That's asking a bit much for the size of my family. Does that mean I should not participate because it's offensive that they are celebrating on the wrong day? Well, then I would miss out on a lot of fun and family time. Also, I know plenty of Pagans that choose to celebrate Ostara on the nearest full moon. Sometimes that can be weeks before or after. Are they wrong? If your best friend invited you to their house for Easter dinner, would you turn them down simply because it's not "the right holiday"? I think that would be kind of rude. I think you should look at it the other way, too. Would you be mad if someone gave you a Yule present, even though they were not Pagan? Would you be upset if your family was Catholic, but wanted to celebrate Ostara with you? Should their friends be upset because their egg hunt pictures appeared on the internet two weeks before Easter?

Not trying to ruffle feathers, just coming at from a different angle.My Response:

"I still tell my family Happy Easter and Merry Christmas. I give them Christmas gifts. I also wish my Jewish bestfriend a happy Hanukkah and buy her a Hanukkah present. I am not now nor ever have been Jewish, but someone I care about is and I will show my respect and love for her by acknowledging special days in her faith. "

"MY POINT EXACTLY. YOU WISH HER "A HAPPY HANUKKAH AND BUY HER A HANUKKAH PRESENT - YOU DON'T SAY, "MERRY CHRISTMAS" AND GIVE HER A CHRISTMAS GIFT ON CHRISTMAS. THAT WOULD BE DISRESPECTFUL."

"She is not pagan, but will buy me a Yule present."

THAT IS NICE :)

THIS IS FINE - YOU ARE NOT CELEBRATING THE HOLIDAY BY GIVING THEM A GIFT OR WISHING THEM A HAPPY EASTER, HANUKKAH OR MERRY CHRISTMAS. IF YOU CHOOSE TO BUY THEM A GIFT OR THEY BUY YOU A GIFT, THAT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I WAS REFERRING TO IN MY LAST POST ABOUT ACTUALLY "CELEBRATING" SOMETHING YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN.

"I still celebrate Easter with my family because it's FUN. Every year the whole family (2 grandparents, 17 parents, 20 grandkids, and 1 great-grandkid) get together and we have a massive blow-out, enter at your own risk confetti egg/silly string fight. It won't happen on Ostara b/c my family is not Pagan. "

"They are Catholic. Does that give me the right to make them change the date? That's asking a bit much for the size of my family. Does that mean I should not participate because it's offensive that they are celebrating on the wrong day? Well, then I would miss out on a lot of fun and family time. "

AGAIN, YOU'RE MISSING MY POINT. GOING TO A FAMILY MEMBER'S HOUSE ON THEIR HOLIDAY IS DIFFERENT FROM CELEBRATING IT ON YOUR OWN. I STILL GO TO MY MOM'S ON CHRISTMAS EVE FOR DINNER AND SHE STOPS OVER AT MY HOUSE ON YULE. WHAT I DON'T DO IS GIVE MY WITCHLETS PRESENTS ON CHRISTMAS. WE DON'T SIT AROUND THE YULE TREE ON CHRISTMAS EVE OR MORNING AND OPEN GIFTS; WE OPEN GIFTS ON YULE. I DON'T GIVE MY WITCHLETS EASTER BASKETS - WE DON'T DO ANY EGG HUNTS ON EASTER; THOSE THINGS ARE DONE ON OSTARA. VISITING FAMILY ON THEIR HOLIDAY IS NOT WHAT I WAS REFERRING TO.

"Also, I know plenty of Pagans that choose to celebrate Ostara on the nearest full moon. Sometimes that can be weeks before or after. Are they wrong? "

I KNOW PAGANS THAT CELEBRATE SABBATS ON A DATE THAT SUITS THE ENTIRE GROUP, SO EVERYONE CAN ATTEND; BUT IF YOU ARE REFERRING TO PAGANS THAT CELEBRATE, FOR EXAMPLE, OSTARA ON THE FOLLOWING FULL MOON INSTEAD OF ON THE EQUINOX, WELL OF COURSE THAT'S INCORRECT.

"If your best friend invited you to their house for Easter dinner, would you turn them down simply because it's not "the right holiday"? I think that would be kind of rude."

AGAIN, VISITING FAMILY/FRIENDS ON THEIR HOLIDAY ISN'T THE ISSUE. DO THEY HAVE BLESSED FOOD THEY WANT ME TO EAT (CATHOLICS DO THIS ON HOLY SATURDAY) - IF SO, I MIGHT DECLINE AND NO IT'S NOT RUDE. IT'S RUDE FOR THEM TO THINK I WANT TO EAT BLESSED FOOD. DID THEY MAKE ME OR MY WITCHLETS EASTER BASKETS? I WOULD HAVE TO SAY I WOULD NOT AGREE WITH THAT. MY MOM DOES THIS AND IT IRRITATES ME. SHE MAKES EASTER BASKETS FOR THE KIDS AND GIVES THEM TO THEM ON EASTER. WHY NOT GIVE THEM COLORED EGGS AND CANDY ON OSTARA - THE HOLIDAY THEY CELEBRATE.

"I think you should look at it the other way, too. Would you be mad if someone gave you a Yule present, even though they were not Pagan?"

NO, THAT'S JUST SILLY. IF THEY WANT TO GIVE ME A PRESENT FOR A SABBAT I BELIEVE IN AND CELEBRATE, THAT'S WONDERFUL. THAT IS THEIR DECISION. BUT DON'T GIVE ME A GIFT ON CHRISTMAS. I DON'T HAND MY JEWISH FRIENDS GIFTS ON CHRISTMAS. I DON'T SEND THEM CHRISTMAS CARDS - THAT'S STUPID, THEY DON'T CELEBRATE IT.

"Would you be upset if your family was Catholic, but wanted to celebrate Ostara with you? "

NO, I'D FALL OVER FROM THE THOUGHT. THAT IS THEIR PREROGATIVE.

"Should their friends be upset because their egg hunt pictures appeared on the internet two weeks before Easter?"

YOU LOST ME ON THIS ONE :P

In conclusion:

I think somehow my point was unclear to some. My issue is not with visiting family and friends on 'their' holidays. I even said that in my last post: "I'm not talking about going to see family on 'their' holiday. I do that too, it's more of a tradition than a religious thing."

What I am referring to is this: making your kids an 'Easter basket' and giving it to them on Easter. Having an egg hunt on Easter for your kids. If you celebrate Ostara then those things should have already been done for Ostara, why are you doing them again on Easter? Why are you wishing your Pagan friends a happy Easter?

On Christmas, why are you opening gifts? Didn't you do that on Yule? We have a Yule tree every year and every year on Yule we have dinner as a family and open gifts. The tree stays up until sometimes the end of January (mostly because CJ and I are too lazy to take it down earlier) but on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning we don't exchange gifts. We do visit my mom on Christmas Eve and that is okay; she wants us to have dinner with her. People celebrate 'the season' for about an entire 2 weeks in December. However, we don't appreciate 'Merry Christmas' cards from my mom but she gives them to us anyway. We don't give her 'Blessed Yule' cards because SHE DOESN'T CELEBRATE YULE. As I said before, would you send a Jewish friend a 'Merry Christmas' card? No, you would wish your Jewish friends a happy Hanukkah ON Hanukkah.

I find it offensive that some friends/family don't seem to care what my family believes in and celebrates. They still give us Happy Easter and Merry Christmas cards. CJ's mom told him on the phone this year, "Am I allowed to say 'Happy Easter'?" and he replied with, "No, I don't celebrate Easter. Why didn't you call me on Ostara and wish me a happy spring?" (I'm sure I didn't quote that 100% correct but you get the point) Why would she? She doesn't celebrate Ostara? Right - but we do and if she wants to wish us a happy "anything" then it should be something we celebrate, not something we fully do NOT believe in.

In the cases where people are still in the 'closet' - well, that is an entire other discussion. For those who have immediate family (spouse) that is absolutely another religion and believes in it, then sure, it should be split up but BOTH religions should be acknowledged, not just one. I have a friend who is Jewish and her husband is Catholic, they have 2 children. The family celebrates BOTH Jewish and Catholic holidays - that is how it should be. One should not stifle the other.

Am I miffed? Sure. Why? Because to me this IS a big deal. I am tired of being put off by non Pagan family and friends who feel what I believe in is 'not real' for lack of a better term, so they completely ignore it yet shower me with cards and presents during their holidays. So, when I see Pagans actually celebrating Christian holidays, it makes me wonder...

Reference: wizard-notes.blogspot.com